My Purgatory

This morning I spent $2.65 on an ice coffee for breakfast on my way to the court house only to be yelled at by the security guard that no food and beverages are permitted beyond the front door. I gulped down as much as I could and cringed as I was throwing away the rest...
After waiting a few hours in a small room with a bunch of other "offenders" I was ready to keel over since I was so famished. Maybe it was all the guilt I had been feeling that was making me sick. I felt like I was in Purgatory or something...well, I was in fact, waiting to be judged now wasn't I? Before you think I've been arrested, I can honestly say I was NOT. ... I talked my way out of it. And "it" isn't something y'all need to know about right now.
But I have one quick question for you folks -
It's not really perjury if I lie in traffic court is it? I mean, it's traffic court. I somehow managed to finagle my way out of a $285 ticket for something that happened in April of 04...that's right, this offense took place 3 stinking years ago- see? I told you people I was a good procrastinator!
After all was said and done, I ended up only paying $35 to lift the suspension on my license and now I can call it a day. So, um...does this mean I'm goin to hell or what?